Monday, May 10, 2010

Making My Heart Super- Happy

My 13 month old son, Johnny, just fell down kinda hard on his butt and started crying. Drake (5) ran over before I did by about 5 seconds. He got down on the floor and laid down next to Johnny and stroked his baby face and said, "you're okay, Johnny. You're okay..." Johnny immediately stopped crying and just smiled at Drake, who, hugged him and then helped him up on his feet. They went right back to playing chase throughout the house.

I felt like Kai Lan from Ni Hao Kai-Lan....they made my heart super happy. :-)

I'm gonna let you in on a secret that maybe isn't a secret to everyone but maybe a surprise to some. Drake has autism. Some people may find his behavior to be amazing simply because he is autistic. It's not amazing at all. One thing Drake has shown himself to be is a very loving and very protective big brother. He loves that baby, he's so gentle with him and watches over him like a guardian angel. And I have one person to credit for Drake being such a great big brother to Johnny.


My first born son is probably the greatest big brother of all time.  Draco was born during one of the worst periods of our (mine and Jake's) lives. At the tender age of 7, Jacob became both big brother and surrogate father to Draco, since their own father was always either disgustingly drunk and locked in his room with his computer, working (when he periodically could obtain and hold employment) or just simply unconscious. Drake didn't even understand the concept of father or even who his father was until well after my divorce was final.

The only thing Drake knew was Jake and Jake taught him to be a loving, protective and playful brother. And that is exactly who Draco is with Johnny.

My sons make my heart super happy and while they spent Mother's Day showering me with love and appreciation, I spent Mother's Day thanking God for having blessed me four times. Three of those blessings are my sons. The fourth is my wonderful husband, who, not only loves me and shows me everyday how much but loves all three of my sons unconditionally, equally and they know it.

Like I said, I am blessed and unlike Hero, I shall not die while my slander lives. I shall defeat slander by living well, showered completely in happiness and loving.


  1. This really beautiful. What a wonderful you have in your family.

    Oh, and like my Mama always reminds me - living well is the best revenge! ;o)

  2. Your boys are wonderful and Jacob is an amazing big brother. I remember the days when he was picking up beer bottles or finding his piggy bank had been cleared out by his Dad. I am so thankful he is in a healthy environment now and can really enjoy being a kid and a big brother. No more having to protect his Mommy and little brothers from the big bad wolf.

  3. Thanks, guys.

    It took some doing but we are all in a much better and healthier place. It's nice to see Jake smile again and to finally have his childhood back. I'm glad Draco will never recall his early years and Johnny will only remember and experience love.

  4. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My ex-girlfriend used to try to parade me by the ex-husband to show off how fabulously happy she was. So I'd ask him questions designed to remind him that she's still the same her and didn't suddenly morph into Ms. Perfect in a different relationship.

    Once I asked him, "What's the most lost you ever got following her directions?" He said, "Maryland from Newark Airport. We were trying to get to Scranton. What she'd do this time?" "Almost New York instead of Scranton, but I turned around after one exit."

    After that, he called me on Thanksgiving at her house and asked, "So how's the turkey coming along?" I said, "You know." He said, "So you're gonna eat around 8 tonight?" I said, "Hopefully." He said, "Yeah, she never listened to me, either."

    I didn't mind being Mr. Wonderful; what bothered me was her attitude of, "The only thing wrong with me was I was with the wrong man and now I'm perfectly wonderfully truly happy happy happy -- see see see, asshole?"

    Not to mention, "His cock is bigger, and I come harder and every single time. I actually passed out from pleasure last time. And it just gets better every day. If it gets any better I may have to move out of town from scaring the neighbors with my cries of mind-blowing orgasms."

    Actually, I didn't mind that last part so much ... but the point is, you of being in a relationship, as Mr. Wonderful, that's still on some level a reaction to a previous one.

    You'll truly be over the whole thing when you stop making comparisons, when Mr. Wonderful becomes Mr. Different-Combination-of-Champagne-and-Stinky-Socks.

    Just my two cents. But you know all that. I'm glad you're happy and your kids are happy and I hope the other Mr. Wonderful (the one who's not me) is happy.

    I wish your ex- was happy. Did he stay sober by the way? I know he was working on it and making progress, but I stopped reading and haven't seen any mention of it.

    Best regards,

    IB Bill

  5. "Actually, I didn't mind that last part so much ... but the point is, you of being in a relationship, as Mr. Wonderful, that's still on some level a reaction to a previous one."

    This makes no sense. It should read, "Actually, I didn't mind the last part so much ... but my point is about being in a relationship that's on some level a reaction to a previous one."

    BTW, I recognize that my ex-gf's ex-husband is not your ex-husband.

    Again, best regards, and glad you're finding some peace and happiness. I'm just going off on a tangent ...

    Never mind :)

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  7. Thanks, Bill. You should have seen what I wrote before I caught your second comment. LOL

  8. LOL. Thanks for the hand out of that hole.

  9. And regarding the sobriety of my Ex. No, he's go off the wagon at least 4 times in the last himself evicted from a couple different places. Not 100% sure he's back on even now - his online behavior says no but when he shows up to get the kids during his visitation - he's been sober lately.